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Sick Friends vs Not Sick Friends
Last week my co-moderator Jenny wrote about a friend of hers with CF, and I asked her if she feels like she has “sick friends” and “not sick friends”. Meaning, does she feel like she has pals who truly understand her sickness, and others who are less involved? She said yes… and I can’t help but agree.
In my own experience, I have CF friends who I quietly talk about symptoms and such with (“online or distant friends”) and I have those who exist in my “Real Life” (meaning, whom I work with or know in person). The “not sick” friends might know about my sickness in a general sense, but I’m not going to message them with a concern or conundrum.
That being said, I have two best friends who specifically breach both worlds. They don’t have CF and are not sick (so they can’t “relate”), but they’ve been with me when I’m in the hospital, and know enough about everything to practically be CF-by-proxy.
What about you?
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2 Replies
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You worded this all so well! I also have two people like this. One, my BFF who knows so much about CF that she could probably teach an entire course about it. Second, my cousin/other best friend who has been on this journey with me since we were kids. Both of them are so understanding and completely immersed in all aspects of my life. I feel so incredibly fortunate to have them!
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I don’t know.
I don’t categorize my friends like this. I only have a few, so I can keep them apart very well without putting them in labeled boxes. And I don’t label myself in this way either. That is not a conscious choice, but the biological state of my body simply is not on the forefront of my awareness enough to make it relevant as a means of identification or a subject of conversation. I don’t expect my friends to know my health, that would be much to ask when even I don’t really know it myself. And I consider it a very uninspiring subject.
I can only hope and wish for them to be aware at least when they are with me, and rather share that together than anything else. Perhaps then we really get to know eachother beyond words, thoughts and the other labels of the mind. Health simply does not apply to this. We are so much bigger.
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