• Timothy Bransford posted an update 1 year, 1 month ago

    Homage to Jaxx

    Zara spends Mondays at our house. Sandi takes this day off from her clay studio to watch our 4-year old granddaughter. Since I work from home, each Monday morning “Z” makes a beeline to my office with the daily download of news. Today, she brings me a little artwork. It is a card with 4-year old drawings and etchings and cutouts pasted on the card (Z is into multi-media big time). She tells me this artwork is in memory of Jaxx, our recently departed cat. Zara knows we are sad, and she hopes this helps a little. I give her a hug and smother my grief.

    I took Jaxx the vet the previous Wednesday because his dental situation was not good. He was struggling and seemed to be in pain. He could not stop drooling and there was a little blood mixed into the liquid. We hoped he just had a bad tooth. Turns out Jaxx had mouth cancer and it was in advanced stage. He was not going to recover. He was in pain.

    The doctor called Sandi and we discussed the options. In the end, we agreed to let Jaxx go. I put on my mask, went into the Vet clinic, and comforted Jaxx while he slowly moved to the next life. My roundtrip visit turned into a one-way trip.

    I’ve been a soldier. I’ve done soldier things and seen soldier things. I’ve remained steely throughout. But I did not remain steely with Jaxx. Letting him go was the right thing to do but it felt like the worst thing I could have done. After 17 years of companionship, after surviving a fight with one of the local raccoons, after years of evading and avoiding coyotes and a lynx, Jaxx was finally taken by cancer. Yes, he had a long and happy life. But he deserved a better death.

    Strangely, our lone remaining guy, Marvin, is silent in the morning. No morning wake-up calls. No gentle paw/claw action. We all seem to know that life will be different moving forward without Jaxx.

    • I’m sorry to hear of this loss. It sounds like Jaxx was a great companion. Your description of letting Jaxx go vs the “soldier things” you’ve seen and done really pulled at my heartstrings. I’m glad you didn’t remain steely; what a tribute to Jaxx and way to honor your own heart in this grief. Sending love to you all (including Marvin and little “Z”) during this difficult time. Thanks for sharing this, Tim.

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