Columns

Having a chronic illness, or caring for someone who does, means spending a lot of time thinking about an organ or body system, usually in a very specific way. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the lungs of my younger sister, Mary, who has CF. I’ve stressed over…

Editor’s note: This column discusses suicide. Please find resources for help at the end of the column. I’ve seen my brother, Brad, go through many phases in life, but the most distinct and emotional one was his rebellious teenager phase. While other teens were out dyeing their…

Paying attention to emotional wellness doesn’t come easy for some of us. It is often easy to sweep our emotions under the rug and function on autopilot until we burn out. Then we rinse and repeat this toxic cycle. But pretending that everything is OK when it’s not is…

I have always loved Halloween, but celebrating it with a chronic illness like cystic fibrosis has always meant having to be creative. Being chronically ill meant having to spend a few Halloweens in the hospital or at home, but my mom always made the most of it so that I’d…

Studies about healthy people with chronically ill siblings are rare. Almost every study examining the psychological impact of illness on the well siblings begins, “This is an underexplored demographic.” This doesn’t surprise me. I’ve been a well sibling since age 3,…

Through the sliding glass doors and down the stairs of the medical plaza, the midday news played — muted, but with captions running — on the TV mounted across from the reception desk. The water fountain hummed. Where I live, case numbers from the COVID-19 pandemic remain high, and medical…

This week’s thoughts are inspired by one of my childhood best friends. She lived down the street from me for most of my life. We’d drive to school together. We’d have lunch together. She’d visit me at the hospital and we’d talk about boys. Now, she’s a…

In 2016, my family spent weeks in the ICU with my brother, Bradley, who had cystic fibrosis and was dying from sepsis caused by an infection. I can’t fully describe what it’s like to have a family member in the ICU, but I need to try, because the…

Someone told me I had a “dancer’s body” the other day, and I pretended it was flattering. “Thank you,” I said, since I hate refuting compliments (and believe intent matters more than execution), but inside I felt conflicted. Gross. Sad. I felt conflicted-gross-sad because the term “dancer’s body” should mean…

Are you living or surviving? Most cystic fibrosis patients have dabbled with this question. To what extent does your health guide your life, rather than love or ambition? I knew the answer back in 2018, but after my bilateral lung transplant in June 2019, things grew complicated. Letting go…