How Isolation Has Brought Calm to My Life

Self-isolation has caused an unexpected sort of peace to my daily life. Before you call me crazy, hear me out. I am usually constantly busy. I work several jobs, partake in countless hobbies, and fill silence with an active social life. I think that is the case for many young adults these days. While there is a lot of chaos and uncertainty right now, I am grateful that I have found some solace. That is not the case for many people.

I spent the last year or two cycling in and out of the hospital more than ever. Each day, even each hour, was uncertain. My body did whatever it wanted despite my plans or obligations. It drove my life into a very chaotic state. I never had enough time in the day. Once I found stability in my health due to Trikafta (elexacaftor/tezacaftor/ivacaftor), I kicked into catch-up mode. I had let a lot slide when my health took over. It feels as though I have been gifted time.

This is the first time that I have been stuck at home without an energy-draining schedule of IV antibiotics and extra breathing treatments. Initially, I was disappointed to be quarantined just after regaining my health. It seemed like a bad joke. Instead, it has brought a sort of calmness. I don’t know when it will end, but I will not take it for granted.

This stillness I feel in my current life is hard to describe. There are stresses, and safety measures to take, but the air is still and quiet. After being settled at home and having work dwindle, an easy routine developed. I am able to wake up, have a leisurely morning, and go about my day at a simple pace. The pressure of keeping up with my peers has disappeared. They have now been brought to my level. Everyone is stuck at home now.

The biggest source of calmness in my current lifestyle is the amount of time I have been able to spend in nature. I used to take my headphones and pick an educational podcast to listen to on a quick walk. It was efficient: exercise and train the dogs while learning how I can be better each day. Every minute of my life was calculated and had a specific purpose.

I am privileged to live out in the country with lots of nature and minimal human activity. Each day, the dogs and I get all dressed up and simply walk. I’ve stopped taking distractions with me and simply exist. I feel like I have time to give myself a little silence in my day. I acknowledge that I’ve traditionally enjoyed a little chaos in my life, but being stuck in extreme chaos for so long has led to me enjoy the polar opposite.

The stillness this isolation has brought to my life gives me a new perspective: I thought I would be bored and miss work more. I do miss work. I will be excited to go back. However, the break has been nice after working myself to the ground last year. Moving forward, I will more easily find a balance between chaos and stillness.

It makes me wonder what permanent changes to the world will come out of the pandemic. Will we still value such a fast-paced lifestyle? Will we take more time to enjoy the world around us? How will this change societal priorities? I guess we’ll have to wait and see, but for now, I will enjoy my peace.

» Follow my journey at “The Living, Breathing Wendy.” «

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