Hearing the words “blood transfusion” still sends chills down my spine. The emotional response my entire body felt when I heard those words for the first time from a doctor is still traumatic. “I wasn’t supposed to get one of these,” I thought. I had just had a double-lung transplant…
Valiant Voice – a Column by Lara Govendo
Birthdays Are Bittersweet
Most people hate the attention birthdays bring. I get it. It’s only in recent years that the meaning of birthdays has shifted for me. Prior to my double-lung transplant three years ago, every year of life felt like a feat. Now, every birthday is icing on the cake — literally.
The holidays always seem to be a complex topic. Adding chronic illness to the mix makes them even more tense. And now the world is living through a pandemic, which adds a layer of ambiguity. Navigating uncertainty brings anxiety, but we have a choice in how we respond. Holiday…
If you told me 10 years ago that I would be reliant on my parents again, I would have laughed in your face. I was always proud about being independent, and I didn’t need anyone to help me — until I did. When I had my double-lung transplant three…
As a person with cystic fibrosis, I’ve formed close-knit relationships with care providers in multiple disciplines. Before my double-lung transplant three years ago, I was hospitalized frequently. I would be hospitalized for a couple weeks, out for a few, and then back in again. So the cycle went. My…
I remember what it felt like to get fired for being sick: that pit in the middle of my belly that caused my mouth to go dry, my voice to shake, and my face to flush with shame. Sitting around a table with multiple bosses, I couldn’t believe what I…
What is that heaviness on my chest that feels like a ton of bricks, for which the only relief is bawling my eyes out? Ah yes, I remember you. The raw, real emotions that creep in the shadows of night, depression is a monstrous hitter. It knows how to…
September is Self-improvement Month. It’s a timely reminder to stay woke on my growth game. Stagnation is not an option for me. It often leads to complacency, which then leads to murdered dreams. With my new lease on life, I do not have the luxury of staying the…
Transplant anniversaries are hard for me. And they’re wonderful. They’re sad, then great again. Up, down, and all around seems to be the cycle of my emotions. These anniversaries affect my body, too. It’s as if I’m reliving the days leading up to my transplant all over again. I…
A Giant Win After a Big Loss
After a monstrous letdown, we need a win. Those of us with chronic illness need reminders to keep on keeping on. The glimmer of hope for better days is necessary to move forward. Rarely do we have a whole day that is good, so when we do, we cling…
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