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  • Does Sickness Make Finding a Valentine Harder?

    Posted by bailey-anne-vincent on February 14, 2020 at 10:59 am

    So it is obviously Valentines Day, and I had to ask: How has dealing with disease (either as caretaker, or parent, or person) impacted your love life? Does it still? What’s the hardest challenge you face?

    I personally feel like it impacts my self-view very little. But the lack of time- either because in the hospital, or doing treatments, or rushing to appointments- is hard because it’s another layer keeping us busy and apart. My partner doesn’t come to most appointments with me because of his work, so I man much of the ship myself… but I also sort of dig being somewhat autonomous in my self care?

    I have a secondary question to ask next week… so stay tuned!


    jenny-livingston replied 4 years, 2 months ago 2 Members · 1 Reply
  • 1 Reply
  • jenny-livingston

    February 17, 2020 at 11:33 am

    So, I’ve always been very independent and autonomous regarding my healthcare. I’d been in a relationship where my partner didn’t want to be involved very much, and over the years I became very protective of that part of my life. I was rather proud of the fact that I dealt with most things alone (and quite well, I might add).

    But when my current partner and I started dating, he wanted to be involved. Like… very involved. I have to admit that I wasn’t a fan of this in the beginning. It made me very uncomfortable. But it didn’t take long for me to get used to it and eventually, it felt nice to let him into that part of my world. Now, we treat clinic days like dates. I live 2.5 hours away from my clinic, so it’s an all day event. His work schedule generally allows him to attend my appointments with me, and we enjoy that time we get to spend together (usually without the kiddo).

    One way it has affected our love life is that everything requires planning. It’s hard to be spontaneous when my schedule revolves around treatments and medications. But even with the best of planning, things can (and frequently do) go wrong. In fact, on Valentines Day we had plans that were disrupted by my health. I was feeling pretty awful so we stayed home, watched a movie, and were in bed before 9:00. Fortunately, I’ve got a great partner who rolls with the punches. But it’s safe to say that we’re not incredibly romantic. Hah!

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