Do I Have Trouble Planning for the Future?

Editor’s note: “Path Unknown” is a new CF News Today column written by Wendy Caroline each Monday.

My clinic used to hand out questionnaires at check-ins to see how patients were doing. I always chuckled to myself when I came across the question, “Do you have trouble planning for the future?” It was funny because I always thought that even if my life didn’t follow the exact path that I set out to follow, I’d figure it out. I can still have a plan and adjust along the way. A lot of life’s pieces already are planned out for you when you’re young: Do good in school, make friends, stay healthy, go to college, and get a career. See? Simple.

So, I’d show up to the clinic, check the “No” box, and blissfully continue with my life. I’d go to school the next day, laugh with my friends, and never give it another thought. Three months later, I’d show up to the clinic, check the “No” box, and blissfully continue with my life. Rinse and repeat.

Fast-forward to college. There I was, doing the college thing. I moved into my dorm, had my major and minor picked out, and settled into college life pretty seamlessly. Sure, there were bumps along the road — I had to go part-time for a couple of semesters and even take a semester off — but I did it. I got my college diploma. I figured it out.

I’d show up to the clinic and stare at “Do you have trouble planning for the future?” Then, I’d hesitate and eventually check “No.” The next day, I’d go to work, laugh with my coworkers, and never give it another thought. Once I fully transitioned to the adult clinic, they had different methods of checking up on my health. So, I didn’t have to answer that question anymore. It actually wasn’t until this past year that I started thinking about it again.

I don’t know exactly when it happened, but I had stopped planning for the future. Not like I thought I was going to die or anything, but rather that I didn’t know what my life was going to look like in five years, let alone one. Were we going to move once my partner finished college? How long was I planning to work full-time? These are the types of questions that I decided were for future Wendy to deal with. I was having trouble planning for my future.

Ultimately, I figured it out. The big change is that I would check “Yes” if I had to take that questionnaire again and face the question, “Do you have trouble planning for the future?” However, I have learned to be OK with not knowing what my future is going to look like. My path is unknown, but it makes each day that much more of an adventure.

See where my path winds at The Living, Breathing Wendy.

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