With chronic illness, self-care isn’t trendy; it’s a necessity

As I write this, I’m sick with a fever and chills. I know it’s a result of being stressed in recent weeks and neglecting self-care, but I feel the need to keep moving at the same fast pace. I hate putting my life on hold because of my health. After all, I have stuff that needs to get done!

My husband scolds me for not taking it easy. He forces me to go to bed, brings me tea, and dotes on me hand and foot. That’s wonderful, but it’s hard to just chill and allow him to take care of me. Still, my body screams for rest, and I finally cave to its cries for a pause. Sigh.

I feel guilty for taking care of myself. I know I shouldn’t, because I preach the opposite to my therapy clients. It’s easier to teach others the importance of self-care than it is to follow my own advice.

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April 29, 2022 Columns by Lara Govendo

Protecting My Health Against Stress Is Essential

This National Self-Care Awareness Month, I’m highlighting the challenge of practicing self-care while living with chronic illness. As someone with cystic fibrosis (CF) who underwent a double-lung transplant eight years ago, I know what it’s like to sacrifice my health in an effort to keep up with my able-bodied peers. I’ve felt the pressure to constantly perform and believed for a long time that my worth was tied to my productivity. Resting was out of the question.

I nearly died several times because I neglected to take care of myself. I thought self-care was for healthy people, but the truth is that those of us with chronic illness need it even more. Managing our health is a lot of work, and we often require more rest as a result. When I ignore this fact, my already suppressed immune system becomes even more vulnerable and I get sick, leaving me with no choice but to halt everything.

In swapping stories with friends in the CF and transplant community, I’ve realized there’s a common theme of overachieving. Many of us feel guilty for taking time to care for our health, so to make up for lost time, we try to power through, beyond burnout. Self-care can feel like a luxury we aren’t entitled to.

In my experience …

Always focusing on my physical health can turn me into someone I’m not. I’m more easily triggered, negative thoughts creep in, and a bad mood settles over me. I’m exhausted, turn inward (isolation), and am easily angered. That’s what happens when I neglect my mental, emotional, and spiritual health. When I or someone I love notices these symptoms, it’s time to pay attention to what’s out of balance.

For me, self-care involves taking the time to rest, read, or watch a movie with my husband. Walking or hiking is essential, as nature clears my mind. I need to pray and connect with dear friends, and setting firm boundaries around my time and energy is crucial to prevent overextension. And sometimes, I need time to just do nothing. Even if my whole being fights against it, I know it’s necessary.

But self-care isn’t just essential for my own well-being; it also benefits those around me. Time spent taking care of myself is never wasted. I’m a better person when I carve out space for the things that fill me on every level.

Living with chronic illness, I have to accept that my body needs a slower pace and more self-care than most people’s do. Listening to my needs isn’t selfish; it actually gives me the capacity to do more. Becoming attuned to what my mind, body, and soul need enables me to be the healthiest version of myself and operate from a place of wholeness. That, in turn, creates more opportunities to help others. After all, I can’t pour from an empty cup.

Note: Cystic Fibrosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cystic Fibrosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to cystic fibrosis.