How to honor a loved one who has passed away

We can remember those we've lost by weaving their presence into our own lives

Written by Tré LaRosa | March 12, 2026

A difficult aspect of grief is that, at some point, we may cope by becoming numb and calloused.

This is not a weakness, but rather a deeply human response. We are a resilient species. We choose to love intensely, even knowing that such love may end in incalculable pain. After we lose someone, the immediate and comprehensive support we receive gradually fades. Life regains a semblance of normalcy because, in truth, there’s no other way forward once our existence is split into “before” and “after” by the loss of someone we love.

Eventually, we may realize that things have become perhaps too normal. I notice this whenever I find myself in a deeper conversation about my sister, Alyssa, who died in 2018 at age 29 due to complications from cystic fibrosis. Many people I’ve met since then know that my sister died, but few know much more than that. I sometimes wonder: Is this my fault? Am I self-censoring out of a misplaced desire to avoid making others uncomfortable? Why don’t I talk about Alyssa more?

What my relationship taught me about living with cystic fibrosis

These feelings led me to confront something I’ve long avoided about grief: the question of how we stay connected to those we’ve lost. Reflecting on her life is painful. She spent so much time in the hospital. More often than not, especially later in her life, our conversations centered on her health. She endured more hardship in 29 years than most people do in twice that time. It’s difficult to recall the good times because, though our lives were filled with love, they were also marked by persistent challenges. To think about honoring my sister means facing that reality head-on.

Yet refusing to confront that reality does a disservice to both her and me. It explains why my feelings of loss have become calloused. It’s a story that lets me sidestep the truth that my sister faced impossible odds — odds that never stopped her from moving forward with life. That is what I want people to know about Alyssa.

We are mosaics

We honor those we’ve lost by continuing to reflect on them, by sharing their stories, and by weaving their presence into our own lives. We honor them by eating their favorite ice cream or watching their favorite movie. We commune with them by engaging with the things they loved. We do these things despite the pain — because that pain is a reminder of the vastness of what we’ve lost. As we honor them and feel their presence, we begin to heal, little by little.

So, to honor my sister eight years after her passing, I want to share who she was.

Above all else, my sister loved fashion. She constantly made friends with nurses, bonding over her outfits and the way she decorated her hospital room. She was known for her impeccable style. From a young age, she took it upon herself to help me dress well, even earning me a best dressed award in eighth grade (and resulting in a memorable photo of me with two collars, both starched and popped).

Beyond her love for fashion, Alyssa possessed an indomitable spirit. She was decisive, a trait I deeply admired. She could be fiery, but she had to be; she underwent surgeries and intravenous antibiotics before she could even form memories. She was a loyal and protective friend, cousin, and big sister. Though she missed out on many milestones she dreamed of, Alyssa was always the biggest supporter of those she loved. She believed in my writing before I ever had the confidence to call myself a writer.

We humans are resilient and complex, capable of deep and conflicting emotions. When we lose someone, we’re forced to navigate a world we’ve never known. We persist because we must. We survive and heal when we realize we are mosaics made from every person we have ever loved.

I want to leave you with a suggestion. The next time someone shares the loss of a loved one with you, ask them to tell you something their loved one enjoyed — something you can do to honor them. Whatever it is, do it. It will help you heal as much as it helps them.

Note: Cystic Fibrosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cystic Fibrosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to cystic fibrosis.

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About the Author

Tré LaRosa Tré LaRosa is a scientific project manager, patient advocate, and writer. He has cystic fibrosis (CF) and carries two copies of the F508del mutation. He's been on Trikafta since 2019. He writes about science, living with CF, grief, family, and everything in between in an effort to get you thinking about what it means to be human. He lives in Arlington, Virginia with his fiancée Jessica and their two wonderful, lazy dogs, Duncan and Leo. He enjoys playing sports, being outdoors, and reading — and especially buying more books.