Why September is my favorite and least favorite time of year

I love all the changes but dread the month's germs and memories of trauma

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by Jennifer Bleecher |

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Here in Pennsylvania, September is my favorite month. The summer humidity is gone, the sun is still warm, but there’s a slight chill in the air that’s new. If you’re observant, you can notice the leaves on the trees are not as vibrant. They start to look more frail as they begin the journey of dying for winter.

Large yellow school buses fill the roads as children start a new year of learning. It’s also the time of year when I historically begin to transition slowly to a level of hibernation. Why? Despite the beauty of this weather season, neon-light alarms start going on in my brain saying, “GERM SEASON!”

Living with cystic fibrosis (CF), I’m well aware that the beginning of the school year is also when germs begin to be spread. Flu season is right around the corner, and many other viruses have become more active. Each gathering of family and friends is coupled with random coughs, with each one lighting up the neon sign in my brain: GERMS! Then comes the wondering whether it’s a cold, influenza, or COVID-19.

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My medical history

When my daughter was younger and my CF lung function was much better, I’d be alert for symptoms of colds at this time of year. I was also working as a nurse, but felt safe enough doing that with the knowledge of droplet precautions and the use of personal protective equipment to keep me safe. If I nonetheless ended up with a respiratory illness, I had some allowance for my lung function to take a hit and recover.

Over the years, my CF progressed and my lung function declined. I became more vigilant about staying away from people, situations, and environments that could expose me to germs. I realized my health couldn’t continue to sustain the hits of viruses with the same ability to recover. The hospitalizations and treatments were no longer worth the germ-carrying people and situations that I’d endure, with the risk of losing more lung function or worse.

On Sept. 6, 2020, at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic and with advanced CF, I received a double-lung transplant. The COVID-19 vaccines weren’t in use then, so my family and I felt high levels of fear.

One evening four months after my transplant, despite valiant efforts, I tested positive for COVID-19. My only symptom was a stye on my right eye, but my immune system had been essentially shut down so my body wouldn’t realize my new lungs were foreign and begin to reject them. That was one of the scariest nights of my life. I waited to hear from my transplant team what I needed to do the following day. I barely slept, fearing any minute my new lungs could be affected and all I’d survived would be for naught.

After receiving an infusion of monoclonal antibodies, I waited on pins and needles for days to see if my new lungs would be affected. By the grace of God, I was spared and remained stable.

The lessons of fall

So as September starts, the school buses start to fill the roads, the leaves start to change, the chill of the air begins to blow, and the low hum begins in my brain, with the neon sign starting to flicker and turn on. GERMS! Four years after my double-lung transplant, I’m blessed to still breathe easy. But while my immune system may be a bit stronger, my body’s history remembers all of the trauma, the struggle, the fight it’s had to endure.

Though this fall season’s climate and foliage make it my favorite, it’s my least favorite for memories of my medical trauma. Thankfully, I no longer need to do nebulized breathing treatments because my new lungs are healthy. I find myself consciously making an effort to enjoy the external and calm the internal, intentionally taking the time to calm my nervous system. It’s absolutely worth it to me, and in September I find it’s a daily requirement.

Do you have a time of year or season when your neon sign of trauma lights up? If you feel safe enough to share, please do so in the comments below.


Note: Cystic Fibrosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cystic Fibrosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to cystic fibrosis.

Comments

Linda Bowman avatar

Linda Bowman

Ugh! yes, I feel you. The start of school with it's GERMS, seems to be the start of gatherings, holidays, etc. and it's the start of having more anxiety about "catching something". It's my risk vs reward season; I mean living with CF is always like that, but it feels heavier during the fall/winter when so much is happening that I want to be a part of, show up to and be present for and it comes with all the do I, should I, is it worth it? It's an ongoing walk across the tightrope, which can be at times, incredibly exhausting depending on the situation. One day at a time soldier

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