What does aging well with cystic fibrosis look like?
Reflections on the privilege and challenge of growing older

I have been thinking a lot about aging lately. I think about it when I notice that it takes my dog, Duncan, a second longer to stand up after a nap; I think about it when I notice a gray hair in my beard, a privilege; I think about it when I visit home and see my parents and the children of my lifelong friends; I think about it when my fiancée, Jess, and I imagine what our children might be like. And I’m thinking about it this week as I get established with a primary care physician, a strange new milestone now recommended in cystic fibrosis (CF) care.
Aging is a complicated subject for everyone, not least of all those of us with a chronic disease that has historically caused a lot of premature deaths — including my sister, Alyssa, who never saw the age of 30. I am now 31, an age somewhere between young and old.
I definitely feel older in a lot of ways, both psychological and physical. My body isn’t as resilient as it once was. I remember when I could drink coffee and pull all-nighters to cram for exams and then play basketball a few hours later. Of course, even back then, pushing my body had consequences; I’d often experience a CF exacerbation after pushing myself too hard. But now, my joints and muscles take even longer to recover.
I notice my age more psychologically, though. Lately, I’ve felt a loss of youth (a topic for another column). Life feels heavier, more serious, like I have more to lose — and I’m nervous about the prospect of becoming a father in the coming years and the pressure that comes with parenthood.
But aging is not a point in time; it’s a process, one that never really ends until it ends. It’s physical, sure, but also mental. Our thought patterns form grooves in our brain over time, causing us to become so absorbed in the life we’re living that we may forget to take a step back and assess whether it’s the life we want to be living. We must consider this at different moments, and in different states of mind, as we may hold multiple — even conflicting — ideas about the kind of life we want.
What it means to age well
For me, a lot goes into aging and living well. It means grappling with long-held insecurities and traumas, including the relationship between my body and mind. I now realize those all-nighters and long basketball sessions in my youth were punishing on my body. Perhaps it was a way for my brain to demand that my body overcome the constraints of CF without my conscious approval.
Aging well also means being honest with myself about diet, sleep, and exercise — viewing them as a priority and privilege, not a punishment. It’s important that I take care of the vessel that has gotten me through many challenges in my life.
In addition, it means taking care of my mind and dealing with stress, which has heavily affected me for a long time and continues to drive my anxiety. How many of us have heard people say at the end of their long life that they regret spending so much time feeling stressed? And yet, how many of us apply that lesson to our lives? Of course, experience is the best teacher, but how can we learn this lesson before it’s too late?
As I reflect, I don’t think aging well has to mean fixing everything that’s wrong or feeling total certainty about our future. But I do think it involves reducing the pressure and finding ways to be present in each moment. That old expression, “stop and smell the roses,” is a cliché for a reason. But in reality, it isn’t always easy to intentionally stop, be present, and not feel rushed to get on with life.
Maybe, just maybe, aging well means no longer tying ourselves to external validation and imagined expectations. Perhaps it’s figuring out how to make “stopping to smell the roses” our default. Those small moments are where life is found: cups of coffee with friends or parents, feeling the breeze on an unseasonably cool summer morning, listening to our favorite band and allowing ourselves to drift with the music.
And when taking a minute to ourselves isn’t the default, maybe that’s when it’s more important than ever.
Note: Cystic Fibrosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cystic Fibrosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to cystic fibrosis.
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