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How does CF impact your mental health?
This is kinda a venting post. But, I reflect on how CF has impacted me, and I think its biggest impact has been on my mental health.
I grew up with severe anxiety and as I got to college, it turned into a need for control. If I could maintain control over school, maintaining thriving friendships and social life, while keeping my health a focus — CF didn’t seem so intimidating.
And that worked well, until something happened and I spiraled. Usually I spiraled when something I didn’t prepare for happened. Death of a friend (not with CF) or a serious hospitalization (that I didn’t think my body was capable of) happened. Depression, is what they call it. And when I fell, it was hard.
Trauma.
And then, I slowly, very slowly, still slowly had to learn to let go of that control. Which is A LOT easier said than done.
I’m at a point where I still have anxiety and I’ve gone through therapists and different medications to help. It wasn’t until my most recent scary/traumatic event that I really buckled down to get the help I needed. And, I’m really impressed with myself for making sure I took care of myself, despite the impending depression spiral I was in.
It took me a LONG time. And, a really good medicine and therapist. And then, the concept of letting started finally started making sense.
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