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Children of Sick Adults (COSA’s): How Does It Feel?
I wrote about my daughter on Instagram yesterday in a series I like to call “Dear Daughters”, and it got me thinking about how much she witnesses and processes as the child of a sick parent (she’s also a CODA- Child of a Deaf Adult- which comes with it’s own cultural connotations and traditions), and how little we listen to that perspective.
I’ve asked my eldest this on the forum once before, but never my 11-year-old, so when asked “What do you wish a sick parent could know, about loving someone with illness?”, she said the following:
“Don’t try to hold in your feelings or how sick you are at that moment or that day, because if you have a bad day and are trying not to scare them, then when you can’t hold it in, it’ll be even scarier for them and it’ll be harder for them to deal with their feelings. So if they know what you’re dealing with and how you feel from the start, then maybe they’ll feel like they can help or know what to do. And also, just spend a lot of time with them” – Follin, 11-going-on-12
Parents, what are your thoughts? Parents of sick children (who try to put on a brave face), what do you think about this perspective in regards to your own family and feelings? Caretakers: How does this relate to you and how you deal?
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