Condoms or no condoms

I’m incredibly neurotic when it comes to sex and protection; and personally, I feel like everyone should be a little neurotic, or hell, just safe. For me, when I have sex, it’s often been out of a relationship. That’s how I’ve operated and I’m comfortable with that.

However, having had multiple partners also comes with its set of risks. Namely sexually transmitted infections and/or diseases. And the risk of pregnancy. I’m walking a fine line here when I say sexual health is incredibly important, but also the shame that surrounds STI/D’s needs to be approached with more education.

It’s important to know that most infections can be treated with antibiotics (though this isn’t to say that it can’t become a serious issue left untreated, that untreated infections can affect unborn babies and fetuses, and it’s important to note that antibiotic resistance is becoming a real issue) and that the medicines available can vastly improve and help manage those that aren’t curable.  What I’m saying is that it isn’t a condemnation to be diagnosed with an STI/D.

However, I do navigate a life with already a plethora of medicines, doctors, and needing to be aware of my body as a whole. Which, is why it’s deal or no deal when it comes to condoms, meaning I don’t risk my health for an unprotected sexual encounter. I don’t make exceptions, however it has happened and it’s scared the living sh*t out of me, and I shamed myself for it. Through those experiences, though, I did make myself worry, anxious, and unnecessarily sick because of my anxiety.

What I wished I knew then was what that all my worries were manageable.

So yeah condoms are necessary, but shit happens. I think I’ve gotten to the point where I’m not afraid to ask my partner when their latest STD panel was, and I don’t think is kills the moment. And, tbh, if it does kill the moment and mood — then they’re definitely not worth having sex with. 

I think ultimately having a tool kit of knowledge at your disposal and being able to stand up for yourself is necessary to make it feel less terrifying.

Are you particularly worried about your sexual health because of CF? How do you confront partners or your doctors about your sexual health?