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Real Thoughts, No Lectures: “Cost Vs Reward”?
Yesterday I posted about complaining (and the weird relief in complaining sometimes?), and then I blasted the music of a composer I’ve found to simmer down: Oliver Davis. (Hot Tip: Blast “Dance I: First Movement” and see how it makes you feel. I’d be so curious!) Then, I moved on with my day.
But I’m going to be honest… It’s been hard to “move on” from some things lately. Or rather, move forward? I have a very big dance contract coming up and I’m teriffied-nervous-thrilled to be potentially working as a paid dancer again after this long pandemic pause off + to really be performing all the time and facing that physical demand + and to feel like I’m living the life I write about. (Having so much time off really messed with my sense of identity and whether or not I’m earning the term “professional dancer”?)
BUT…. I just had another major surgery. I might have another spine issue going on as we speak. And it’s just a lot to potentially juggle. I can do it, I’m sure but… there is a weird cost to everything, as we all know.
When it comes to your cost versus reward cycle: Where do you land in all brutal honesty?
What is your REAL answer?
Do you sometimes think that a certain job, passion or trip is “worth” an inevitable backslide in health down the road?
Do you think that health always comes first, even if it means being static for long stretches of life and potentially denying important facets of yourself?
Let’s share our real thoughts (and of course, as always, hold a judgement free zone!) We promise to simply “hear” and not lecture.
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1 Reply
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Personally, I highly value my health, in the broadest sense possible. So without differentiating between physical and mental health. I don’t think prioritizing my health/being necessarily leads to “costs” in other aspects of life. Being static doesn’t occur to me ever, life is innately dynamic (if you know where to look for it), something is always on the move – even when it is still unknown to us – and in the course of a life, all important facets of being have the power to emerge by themselves, is my experience.
I don’t believe so much in my power or ability to orchestrate life in advance – how would I know what is good for me at this moment? I only have so little overview, I only see such a small part of the universal aliveness that runs the show. Life always knows better, that is a lesson well learned for me.
And thinking in a cost/reward dynamic tends to produce a predictable and cheap life experience with an ever decreasing quality and increasing stress. We know many examples of this in our current economic system, where it is always only about this.
Since it is impossible to think life all out, I much prefer to be by intuition and surrender. It has suited me well and I have avoided a lot of fruitless and exhausting thinking that way. Without planning, the element of surprise stands a much better chance which makes life rich and adventurous by itself. If I look at me today, how I am, with whom, where, what happened in the last 58 years: I could not possibly have foreseen let alone orchestrated a path leading to me-here-now. This is much bigger than my own capabilities, even intuition, let alone mind. I am very comfortable by not knowing, and surrender: for me, this is the ultimate life experience, bold, direct and surprising.
PS Thanks for the tip on Oliver Davis! I didn’t know him. The number you blasted made me want to move (or run away, lol), but I much liked “Sun stands still” (from his album Solace).
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