-
What words or phrases bother you?
In Lara Govendo’s column, she explores the world of well-meaning but ultimately hurtful words and phrases that many people with CF hear. While these people may be well-intentioned in what they’re saying, they can ultimately cut deep or come across as accidentally ignorant.
What words or phrases bother you? How do you respond when you hear things that bother you that are meant to be well-intentioned?
-
11 Replies
-
words and phrases that bother me are being called a CFer, a cystic, those people, sick person, well ya look great
-
I’ve never heard of a cystic before. Is that an older or newer one?
-
-
William and Scrappy – for me it’s you look great, *I’m glad you got well.*. Also “there are lots of people worse off than you “.
-
Do you feel the people have it worst comment is incredibly passive aggressive?
-
-
One that really gets to me is, “At least it’s not [insert something else].” I get that people are trying to be positive or lighten the mood, but it ends up minimizing what I’m dealing with. I try to respond gently when I have the energy—sometimes by saying, “I know you mean well, but that actually makes it harder to talk about how I really feel.” It’s not always easy, but those conversations can help people be more aware in the future.
-
Do you think people’s attitude’s change after you express your thoughts?
-
-
A couple of things people say really annoy me: After someone hears me coughing – “Gotta stop smoking mate….” or “You need to cut down on the cigarettes” and back before self check out at the grocery store, the check out attendant looking at all my high calorie food – “Who’s having the party?” or something similar. Argh… no this is just what I need to eat to stop loosing weight!!! Sometimes I explain why I cough or why I buy the food I do. Other times I can’t be bothered.
-
People love unsolicited commentary, like it’s their cardio.
-
The comments from the peanut gallery are never welcomed. I’ve never found those comments funny.
-
-
I really am starting to take gripe with people telling me that I am so strong. While I know their intentions are good and they mean to uplift me when times get tough, what other choice do I have besides to be strong? I mean really, what else am I supposed to do besides keep on along and keep on fighting?
It’s not particularly enjoyable to have to fight against the scary, bad, and unknown, and I feel so much less strong internally than I must appear externally. It’s not a joy to scream, cry, push, pull, strongly advocate or question and demand when the time calls for it. I often wonder… why me? Why was I chosen to be at the epicenter of chaos and instability, standing stable and trying to calm the chaos? Maybe one day I’ll understand why better. Because of all I have endured throughout my lifetime thus far, being told I am strong has become somewhat triggering for me, but I really do try to take the compliment gracefully, as best as I am able to.
-
I hope the next time you’re going through something that you’re approached with tender, love, and understanding. Ultimately, we all deserve love and care.
-
Log in to reply.