Walking my daughter down the aisle was worth every breath

One month ago, my daughter got married. I woke up early that morning and took a long, slow, deep breath.

For someone who has lived with cystic fibrosis (CF), that simple act felt like a miracle. But the real miracle was still ahead — walking my daughter down the aisle without oxygen tubing, breathlessness, or the shadow of my illness casting fear and anxiety over her special day. I spent a few minutes in gratitude breathing easy and relishing this.

When I decided to undergo a double-lung transplant five years ago, I knew the statistics. I understood the risks, the lengthy recovery, and the lifetime of immunosuppression ahead. But what kept me going through those frightening nights at the hospital and grueling rehab sessions was the thought of breathing easier and being fully present for the moments that mattered most. Being able to be at my daughter’s wedding was the north star guiding me through my recovery.

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At last, I was simply a mother

And it was worth it. Every single moment of it.

Jennifer Bleecher, left, helps her daughter, Claudia Quinlan, fasten her bridal gown. (Courtesy of Jennifer Bleecher)

I walked her down that aisle with steady steps and clear lungs. No wheezing. No pausing to catch my breath. Just a mother and daughter sharing one of life’s most profound passages together. I could speak the toast I’d prepared without coughing or my voice breaking from lack of air. I could smile without the exhaustion that used to cloud every big event.

The reception was everything I’d hoped for and more. I danced — really danced, the entire evening. I spun around the dance floor, making up for all the weddings, celebrations, and holidays where I’d been the one sitting on the sidelines, tethered to oxygen, conserving every breath.

I ran around handling last-minute mother-of-the-bride emergencies like bustling the dress, finding bobby pins, and making sure the wedding coordinators had everything they needed. I visited with old friends, laughed until my sides hurt (not my lungs), and sang along to the music without that familiar burn in my chest. Yes, I paid for it the next day with some fatigue and leg cramps, but it was a small price I’d gladly pay again. Those sore muscles were proof that I had lived fully, completely, and without reservation. I did it for me, my daughter, and to honor my lung donor.

But the most precious gift wasn’t just what I experienced, it was what my daughter didn’t have to experience. She didn’t have to worry about whether Mom would make it through the ceremony. She didn’t have to glance over anxiously during the reception to check if I was OK. She didn’t have to plan her wedding around my medical needs or wonder if I’d even be alive to see it.

For that day and night, I wasn’t a CF patient. I wasn’t a transplant recipient. I was simply a mother, watching her daughter marry her best friend and soulmate. I was fully present in every moment, from the hair and makeup brunch to the zip of the wedding dress, through the last dance of the evening and the after-party. My new lungs gave me the breath to be exactly who I needed to be, not despite my journey with CF, but because I’d fought through it.

Would I do it all again? The surgery, the fear, the uncertainty, the recovery? Without hesitation. Because some moments are worth every breath. Watching my daughter’s face glow with happiness while I stood beside her, breathing easy, was worth everything I’d been through and everything still to come.

I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.

Note: Cystic Fibrosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cystic Fibrosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to cystic fibrosis.