One of the biggest changes between my life before my lung transplant and my post-transplant life has been with my body temperature. Before my double-lung transplant, I ran hot all the time. I remember a night I was being transported from my home hospital to a transplant hospital for…
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My late daughter, Jasmine, was 16 when she attended her first school dance. For most teenagers, this would have been just another Friday night, involving some awkward slow songs and maybe a few embarrassing photos. But for Jasmine, it was something she had been dreaming about for years that I…
Living with cystic fibrosis (CF) made me very aware of breathing. Before my double-lung transplant eight years ago, I’d check the weather before committing to any plans, because protecting my lung health from allergens, weather triggers, and anything that could cause inflammation was essential to my well-being. Since…
I turned 55 this month, and I am giddy about it. Not quietly pleased. Not gracefully accepting. Giddy, the way you’re supposed to be at 21 and rarely are, because you don’t yet know what a gift a birthday can be. I know because I’ve spent almost six years breathing…
There are three F-words that describe a few of the changes I’ve experienced since having a double-lung transplant eight years ago. After living with cystic fibrosis (CF) lungs for 30 years, having new lungs has been a miracle. It hasn’t come without adjustments, though. The three areas most affected…
When my late daughter, Jasmine, turned 15, I remember thinking how grown-up she’d become and how much of her world she managed on her own. As a single father, I always worried about getting things right, especially with something as complex as her cystic fibrosis (CF). But Jasmine had…
Music has always spoken to me. I don’t remember a version of myself that didn’t have a song for whatever I was feeling. Before I had words for grief, I had a melody that held it for me. Before I could explain fear to a doctor, or anger to my…
Germs. I imagine them floating through the air, gravitating toward me because they know somehow that I’m immune-compromised. I picture them swirling around my face, getting sucked into my nostrils and pulled into my transplanted lungs, threatening my very existence. I’m pretty sure that’s also how it went when I…
When my daughtr, Jasmine, turned 14, something subtle and remarkable happened in our home. It wasn’t that her cystic fibrosis (CF) disappeared. It never did, of course, but its presence faded, no longer the ever-present shadow it had once been. Our routines, which in the early years felt so…
Sometimes, memories are triggered by my senses — things I hear, see, smell, or touch — and before I know it, I’m spiraling down a rabbit hole of past trauma from my life with cystic fibrosis (CF). It’s fascinating how my five senses remember everything and often transport me…
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