As I’m aging, I’m working to get past my health-related self-sabotage

As an adult with cystic fibrosis (CF), I’m part of the majority within the CF community. Whereas this disease was once seen as a childhood illness, scientific advancements have allowed us to grow up, get older, and adjust to a life we didn’t foresee 10 or 15 years ago.

At 31 years old, I’ve realized that limiting myself and the amount of time and energy I can give to events, people, or tasks is the best way to preserve my physical health. One way I can be the healthiest version of myself is to set boundaries on what I can and cannot do within a certain time frame. I’ve also decided to take care of my mental health by talking to a therapist so I can work through many of the underlying issues and stressors I’ve been dealing with for years.

I’m learning that I need to take care of myself first and accept help when it’s offered.

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Addressing my health

If you’ve been reading this column for a while, you’ve possibly noticed that I haven’t been writing as much as I used to. Since I turned 31 in October, I’ve been hospitalized four times, starting the day after my birthday. I haven’t been in the hospital this much since I was a young child, going back to infancy. It’s partly a matter of what comes with getting older with CF.

The other part, however, is that I wasn’t taking care of myself properly. I wasn’t sterilizing my nebulizers well after using them, I wasn’t doing my physical treatments as I should’ve, and I wasn’t always dealing my best with my cystic fibrosis-related diabetes.

In short, I was engaging in self-sabotage, reverting to the confused 17-year-old who wasn’t sure he’d live into his 30s. The difference now is that I have a wife and two dogs who need me, on top of my family and friends who’ve been there for me.

I know I’m not the only one. Many adults with CF have grappled with the new lease on life they’ve been given, thanks to CFTR modulators such as Trikafta (elexacaftor, tezacaftor, and ivacaftor). I’m not on any modulators, however, because I have nonsense genetic mutations.

This situation came to a head when my wife and my mother made me realize that I need to take better care of myself if I want to grow old and have a long future. It sounds like a no-brainer, but I’ve never made things easy for myself.

What I’ve learned, though, is that I’ve felt better and healthier since my wife and mom approached me, even though I was just in the hospital last month. I know that sounds like a paradox, but my progress in cleaning my respiratory equipment, taking the right amount of insulin, and doing proper treatments has made me feel better, even with the hospitalization. I’ve even put on some weight, which I’ve struggled to do over the years.

Hopefully, I can keep growing, emotionally and physically.

Note: Cystic Fibrosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cystic Fibrosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to cystic fibrosis.