Finding a balance between supporting others and taking care of myself
As a therapist and empath, I need to set emotional boundaries
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I’m not a jerk; I’m just tired.
Admittedly, though, I feel like a jerk sometimes. My eyes widen at the number of private messages that flood my inbox. I know they’re from sweet people who need support and encouragement. “I’ll tackle them another day,” I say aloud. But days can turn into months, and so on and so forth.
But there’s a reason — I promise.
Managing my emotional bandwidth
Living with cystic fibrosis (CF) can take a toll on my physical, mental, and emotional health. Add the complications of being eight years post-double-lung transplant, and you’ve got yourself a party — a tired one, at least.
Some days, I am so depleted that my husband is the only person in my personal life I talk to. I’m a therapist, so I must hold space for hard stories in my professional life. That’s why setting aside the time and energy to open private messages can be a lot, especially when my own health isn’t stable.
I love that sharing my story invites others to do the same, though. Living authentically and being vulnerable are two values I hold closely. I know being a therapist helps set others at ease. They trust me with information that few (if any) others know. This is a privilege I don’t take for granted.
As a result, though, I receive tons of private messages. Whether people find me on social media, through my columns, or through other public platforms, many reach out. They share their own struggles, ask how they can manage their situations, send prayer requests, or ask specific questions about health or faith.
Believe me, I am glad to have these conversations and provide encouragement! But to be fully transparent, receiving these messages can also be overwhelming and heavy. As I continue to struggle with chronic health conditions, it can be challenging to find balance. I often walk that fine line between wanting to support others and taking care of my health. Sometimes I am exhausted and have exceeded my emotional bandwidth.
Nowadays, I often won’t tell people outside of my personal circle about my health hiccups. I’ve shifted to wanting privacy in this area to protect my well-being. That means it’s not always evident what I’m going through.
My delayed response is never a lack of care for others; it’s a way to care for myself. As a therapist and an empath, I’m prone to pouring out more than I get poured into. I’m not superwoman, after all (at least, not officially). The older I get, the more I learn the importance of healthy boundaries. To help others, I need to take care of myself, too.
So, if you’ve sent me a message and I didn’t respond, I’m sorry. It’s not personal. Feel free to message again, and please be patient with me. I want to respond when I have the time and energy to do so intentionally. A friendly reminder that there’s a person on the other side of your message who may be struggling, too.
Note: Cystic Fibrosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cystic Fibrosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to cystic fibrosis.
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