How I am learning to cope with chronic illness

I learned early on in my life with cystic fibrosis (CF) that coping with a chronic illness is all about the long game.

Prior to my double-lung transplant eight years ago, I had to learn how to deal with a lot of uncertainty. Wrestling with matters of life and death was overwhelming, but I knew if I had my mental, emotional, and spiritual health in check, I could endure anything that my physical health threw at me.

I’ve developed a set of strategies for coping when I’m sick, for managing mental health symptoms, and for enduring setbacks. These have been vital to my overall well-being, and I’d like to share some of the tools that have been lifesavers for me.

One of the first things I learned to do was to acknowledge that living with chronic illness is a challenge. This helped alleviate the pressure of feeling like I had to keep up with those who are able-bodied. Validating my lived experience has brought exponential relief.

I was an expert at stuffing my feelings down in order to deal with the most immediate health crisis. This resulted in built-up emotions and the inability to manage my overall emotional health. Once I learned to sit with what I was actually feeling, it became easier to bounce back from health crises, anxiety, and the frustrations of being sick.

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The skills I use to deal with chronic illness

When I feel overwhelmed with health concerns, it can be hard to focus on anything else. The skills I’ve learned, along with my certification in somatic practices, have helped me regulate my nervous system.

I’ve also been learning to settle my hypervigilance by eating healthy, exercising, and getting enough sleep. Going for a ride or a walk to change my scenery helps, too.

I’m also very intentional with what I allow in — that is, who I surround myself with, what I’m listening to, and what I’m watching. Setting healthy boundaries like this has been necessary to protect my well-being. This is especially true when I’m sick or dealing with mental health symptoms. I need time and space away from others to recuperate. I won’t apologize for what I need, either.

Chronic illness is hard, and as much as I sometimes need time to be by myself, not having anybody to confide in is a whole other level of hard. I’m so grateful for my husband, who is present through every circumstance, and for the friends and family I rely on, too. It’s such a relief not to carry this by myself.

Being able to connect with people in the CF and transplant communities is comforting. Being able to talk to friends who have been through similar health experiences makes me feel less alone, and reassures me that I’m not the only one with health challenges. It’s also helpful when I have unusual symptoms to check with friends!

I’m a therapist, but I have a therapist, too. This has helped me build skills to cope with anxiety, depression, and medical trauma. It’s also essential to have a space to process heavy emotional matters with someone who isn’t a part of my life.

My faith has also been a solid anchor. As a Christian, I rely on God to help me through challenging circumstances. My faith keeps me grounded and helps me deal with uncertainty and difficult emotional matters.

As hard as it can be, staying present is a great coping strategy. I try to focus on the next step I need to take rather than on the thousand things I have to do to take care of my health. It prevents me from feeling overwhelmed and shutting down, which can make me not want to tackle anything.

Mental Health Awareness Month is a timely reminder to learn how to cope with chronic illness. Since CF is lifelong, it’s essential to develop skills that have longevity. Finding the tools that work for you is important. Through trial and error, you can discover what fits your needs and works most effectively.

Most of all, give yourself grace. We’re all just doing the best we can with the cards we’ve been dealt.

Note: Cystic Fibrosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cystic Fibrosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to cystic fibrosis.