• Adults​ ​With​ ​CF

  CF is Existing

  Posted by Luisa Palazola on September 19, 2019 at 10:35 am

  I wrote this a few months ago, it’s an unedited culmination of my thoughts on living with CF:

  “It’s CF Awareness Month. There are a lot of ways people choose to see their disease, if they even want to see it as a disease.

  This is how I feel:

  CF has made me confront my own mortality. CF has made me confront mortality of those I love.
  CF has shown me depths of my insecurities and the ruthlessness of other people’s cruelty.
  My body has given me reason to hate it. With each ounce of blood that seeps from my lungs and into a porcelain white sink.

  My body has given me reason to not trust the place I call home

  My lungs have taught me what fear is

  My mind has become so restless by disappointment, hate, and fear cultivated by my body and lungs. That, it too, wanes in sickness.

  And sometimes, my mind’s whirlwind of emotions fail my body

  It’s a curious experience. But, with a little faith, you dare to experience:

  Living and being present in your moment.
  To laugh from your belly and to kiss the soul of life.
  To find awe in your self and the feats and barriers you’ve crossed. No matter how small they seem.

  To be proud of &
  to be gentle with
  the body and the mind that carry you day in and out.

  the body that gives you the opportunity to simply
  experience a genuine hug. to say I love you and to carry love out, and let it come within
  to feel the immensity of this Universe.
  and, simply to be

  cystic fibrosis, to me, is existing”

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  It’s CF Awareness Month. There are a lot of ways people choose to see their disease, if they even want to see it as a disease. This is how I feel: CF has made me confront my own mortality. CF has made me confront mortality of those I love. CF has shown me depths of my insecurities and the ruthlessness of other people’s cruelty. My body has given me reason to hate it. With each ounce of blood that seeps from my lungs and into a porcelain white sink. My body has given me reason to not trust the place I call home My lungs have taught me what fear is My mind has become so restless by disappointment, hate, and fear cultivated by my body and lungs. That, it too, wanes in sickness. And sometimes, my mind’s whirlwind of emotions fail my body It’s a curious experience. But, with a little faith, you dare to experience: Living and being present in your moment. To laugh from your belly and to kiss the soul of life. To find awe in your self and the feats and barriers you’ve crossed. No matter how small they seem. To be proud of & to be gentle with the body and the mind that carry you day in and out. the body that gives you the opportunity to simply experience a genuine hug. to say I love you and to carry love out, and let it come within to feel the immensity of this Universe. and, simply to be cystic fibrosis, to me, is existing

  A post shared by Luisa Palazola (@ladilla93) on May 8, 2019 at 9:26pm PDT

  Luisa Palazola replied 5 years, 2 months ago 1 Member · 0 Replies

  • awareness
  • cystic fibrosis
  • disease
  • existing
  • fears
  • living
  • not a disease
  • present
  • sickness
• 0 Replies

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