Everything’ Will Never Be Perfect, and That’s OK

[Cystic Fibrosis News Moderator Moderator]

Columnist Tré LaRosa has come to realize that, even when he is not being productive, he continues to have value as a person. Click here to read more from Tré.

What about you? Do you struggle with this issue?

[Paul met Debbie Participant]

I can recognize this feeling of “not having done anything (or enough) today”. I learned to get rid of it after I stopped working as a teacher and had the luxury of spending my time freely. That is, after I got rid of the ego-game. The ego loves accomplishments and tries to push us to doing, achieving, trying etc. When the body does not allow for this due to a (temporary or constant) lack of available energy, the ego does not forgive and let us of the hook. In stead, it starts generating thoughts of incompetence that indicate that this day was of loss of time etc and that we are to blame for it.

In this game, we can never win. It is important to realize this. For the ego, it will never be enough, at least, not for long. Even after a great achievement it will take the ego only a day or so to start nagging us again. What to do about it?
We have to acknowledge this dynamics first. Then, we should resist bargaining with the ego about it. This will only confirm the process that we want to get rid of. We can’t fight the ego, it will only draw strength from it because it will feel taken seriously by us. Don’t do that. In stead, we should take a step back from our position of engagement and take a position of observing. Realize that we and the ego (the fictitious image our mind makes of us and tries to sell us as being authentic) are not the same. That, in fact, this ego is an illusion that we can do without. It’s a crippled version of ourself. We need not believe it’s thoughts, we have the option to ignore.

Then we can realize that we don’t have to engage in this play of the ego. We don’t have to combine with it. We have been brought up in a conditioning that the ego is right, that we have to make something and someone out of us, that we should be doing and accomplishing all kinds of things to be a valued member of our society, of our species. But this upbringing, this conditioning, is wrong and unnatural. It is a misunderstanding of who we really are. In fact, we don’t need to do anything in order to reach some level of usefulness. We just have to be ourselves. It has nothing to do with what society or other outside influences expect us to become or accomplish. We only have to answer to our natural self.

That does not mean that we have to be inactive. But it means, that we can play around with live like it was a dance, in stead of a journey. A dance is about joy, about being in the movement, we do it because it’s fun, it comes natural. It is not about reaching a certain level or place that is expected of us. Sure, there are tasks to complete and work to be done, but don’t take that for who you are. Don’t let it determine how you feel about yourself. Just stay in the self as the self.

So, I agree with Tré: if nature gives, a day (or even 4) of lying on the bed is OK. Not because it is worth something though, worth does not come into it, but just because it is OK. This is the form in which reality presents itself to you at this moment. Nothing wrong with it. It is the way how you spent your day (for whatever reason, that does not matter – only to the ego but hey, don’t combine with that!). It is just what happens that day. Don’t give it a thought. If you have been your natural self that day, being in the moment and accepting everything that has been presented to you, it is OK.

Now, ask yourself this question: how can you not be your natural self? This was how you were born (or even before that). Strip away all the conditioning, ignore the silly games of the ego, and be what remains. Just be here now. Live your live from that “state”, never forget what you really are and don’t get distracted. It has nothing to do with your body, your occupation, your relations, your thoughts or believes, your expectations, imaginations etc. Don’t think your live, dance your life that way and you will be OK. Always. And don’t let anyone tell you differently. Chances are they are taken over by their ego and don’t even know it.

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