I Don’t Fit the Description of What CF Is ‘Supposed to Be’

[paul-met-debbie]

I have talked about this before. I said then: No, there is no typical sort of cf, and if there was, it would be wrong. Still this question remains. I will try another approach.
Yes, CF presents very typically – in the way that every patient has his/hers own, typical variant. Like every person is unique, every person with cf is unique too. The cf-part of that is not really special by the way.

So, let’s go from there.

Comparing oneself to others is a most unfortunate way of observing. It is looking for oneself in another. But you are not to be found there. So don’t do that. Why would you? Who do you want to find? You are the only one that counts anyway. And by “you”, I don’t mean the personal you. But the super-personal you that you really are. So, who do you really want to find?

Suppose one day, it would happen. You would meet the one and tell him/her (let’s call it: “It”) your name and the fact that you have cf. And It would reply: Ah, yes I know exactly what you mean. You are the typical Bailey Vincent’s type of cf. It’s in my book. I you want me to, I will turn up the page (there is a book with some 7 to 8 billion pages). It actually does produce the page and starts to read. It mentions and replays your every experience, thought, feeling, emotion you ever had regarding cf (and every other subjective truth about yourself also). It even knows what is still to come. It asks you if you want to know. You hesitate. When it closes the book, it seems to fold very slim.

Is there anything left talking about with It? What remains now? Would it matter anymore who else would know you like this? Or is it enough to know for yourself that It exists?

Now, who or what could fit this description of It? You can call it by any name, but in the end, you would find out It must be The One. So your complaint about not fitting any description (of cf, or of any other conceptual identity you might invent about you) is not only wrong (because you fit exactly with your own unique description), but when looked at clearly, it is not a complaint but more like a wish. A wish to know The One. Which is really: You. Know thyself.

That must sound familiar. Know thyself – beyond the body, the mind, the thoughts, feelings, sensations and emotions. These are all not important. They will reveal nothing relevant about you, not to you, not to anyone. Nothing permanent, nothing real, nothing worth talking about, nothing worth projecting. Nothing that is beyond time and place. Only superficial, fleeting “knowledge”. You will never be happy or even satisfied by just knowing everything about these. Or meeting and talking with someone other who exactly seems to know these “things” too (however amazing that would seem). So don’t spend your energy and time looking for that anymore.

Life and happiness are not about bodies, dis-eases, things. They are about nothings. No-things. Or nevery-things. Neverything.

That’s your goal. Find Neverything. There you are. You will be known fully there. Intuitively (or as you say: by a gut-feeling). By Neveryone. Ignore the rest. Don’t compare. Be.

Namaste,
Paul