Tagged: caretakers, children, family, stress, worry
- This topic has 1 reply, 2 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 3 months ago by Jenny Livingston.
February 4, 2021 at 11:50 am #16203
I was talking to my eldest daughter (who’s almost 15) about how sickness has impacted her life and relationships from the child perspective, and she had some positive things to say. Which got me thinking:
What helps our kids or loved ones feel less stress and worried when we are sick?
Whether you’re answering this from the caretaker perspective or from your own (what do you do to help those around when you feel poorly), I’d truly love to know.
After asking my daughter, she said: “What helped me the most during your most recent surgery was that you and Papa messaged me through my Alexa” – [of note, she doesn’t have a phone just yet!]- “Which made me feel so much better because I didn’t get information through a middle man. I liked feeling like I could reach one of you all on my own. Also, we plan really fun things for the time you’re in the hospital. We’ve scheduled sleepovers or been able to have fun things with my grandparents or my Aunts. Being able to have fun things that distract, but knowing I can Glide or FaceTime you, always helps with the worry when you’re gone.”
Do I feel guilty that I’m gone? Yes. But since I homeschool my girls and they even go to work with me (back when I was teaching dance in person), sometimes my surgeries or hospital stays are the ONLY times we are apart. Ever. In that regard, it’s probably healthy to get a brief oasis, once or twice a year, right? If the most we are apart is a week, once or twice a year, we are doing pretty darn good!
“You also leave us a letter to open very morning with a different song for us to listen to each day, sometimes, when you’re gone. And since our love language is music, that always means a lot too.”
What do you DO (or what has someone done for you) to help ease the stress of sickness in the past?
February 4, 2021 at 2:09 pm #16206Jenny LivingstonParticipant
This is beautiful!
I also like to leave notes. We have certain special phrases that we use only with each other, so sometimes I’ll write those messages on the bathroom mirror (with dry erase marker) or put little notes on my daughter’s her pillow before I leave.
Since she was a toddler, each night, I tickle the palm of her hand and say 5 little affirmations:
“You are smart. You are beautiful. You are important. You are kind. I love you.” For years, she’s called this bedtime ritual Smart and Beautiful. “Mama, you have to do Smart and Beautiful.” When I am gone, this is one of the things she misses most. My sister in law once asked if I would be okay with her doing Smart and Beautiful with Morgan before bed. It ended up being such a good thing for Morgan — not the same as when Mama does it, but it brought her such a sense of peace.
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