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My Teen Talks: CF Parents and Meltdowns
Yesterday I wrote about what an insane week I’m having, juggling too many things, and today: my teenager hit the fan. She is super stressed whilst stuck at home + pandemic changes + (dare I say it) hormones in general, and it has really put a stop to all of the work I need to complete this week. As soon as I get momentum, a new meltdown happens. As many of us know: When our kid cries for us… sometimes, our day just has to pause!
While staring at my laptop trying to figure out what to post today, she said: “Want to tell them about me?” (I thought this was very kind of her, considering most teens get embarrassed of their meltdowns a few hours later) and it was exactly the inspiration I needed.
Given that many on this forum are family members, caretakers, or parents themselves, I wanted to ask: When was the last “meltdown” you had and how did you feel after you let it out?
I asked my daughter “What stresses you out the most about having a parent who has to juggle medicine and motherhood?” and she said the following: “I think you do a good job because even when you are feeling bad you still find ways to make it fun. We do movie nights or ice cream or fun things when you’re stuck on the couch. The worst part is long car rides to doctor appointments, like yesterday… But, actually…. never mind… that’s the best part ever! We listen to music and we have deep talks and connect the most. People might think we spend much of our time with our grandparents because our parent is sick or something like that.. but really, I wish we spent more time with them! We don’t get to see them that much, and I love the times when we do. Really, it’s just a lot of time together and time to talk. So, all the bad parts about sickness are actually some of the best parts about our relationship, when I think about it.”
How does this make YOU feel, when reading about a teen’s perspective?
Believe it or not… she had more to say! So I’m saving another question and thoughts for tomorrow. Stay tuned!
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2 Replies
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Reading this made me cry. Then, when I came back to login and respond, I read it again and cried some more. I frequently wonder how my illness impacts my daughter’s life. Of course, there are some obvious things, but it’s the not-so-obvious ones I worry about more.
“So, all the bad parts about sickness are actually some of the best parts about our relationship, when I think about it.” Morgan has expressed similar things. She talks about all the times she’s been allowed sleepovers in the hospital, when my health was at it’s worst but our family found ways to make nights at the hospital fun. She also loves the long car rides and attending appointments with me (when we’re not in pandemic times). The difficult conversations and experiences we’ve had because of CF have allowed for a closeness that I’m not sure we would share otherwise.
My hope is that she’ll always remember the fond memories, even though there have been some rough ones as well.
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Are you advertising your kids😀? Seems you are doing quite a good job as parent! Must have been a great thing to get this wise answer from your daughter.
When I look at the children of my sister, I am always amazed how mature they can be even from a young age on, much more than I remember myself being when I was that age. And sometimes it’s the other way round and I think: by that age I already left the house and earned my own living. Children seem to be wise earlier and independent later. Times are changing and it is hard to compare. So mostly I don’t compare and just watch in amazement and wonder.
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