January 20, 2021 at 12:34 pm #16139Bailey VincentModerator
Yesterday I talked a bit about wanting to set boundaries for myself going into this new year, and today I wanted to expand upon what I’m aiming to do.
Currently, I have decided to try the following, in order to (hopefully) prevent as much crash-and-burn and sickness:
1. Be completely off my phone by 9 PM every night, even if that’s technically considered “bad” for social media analysts (later is preferable), and even though I hate admitting that I know that (but it’s been my business, at times, for upwards of 15 years so, no judgement please!)
2. Be completely off my phone ALL weekend (barring special circumstance). No posting. No checking. Just “off”. (A reason I was resistant to this in the past is that, by the time I get back “online”, I have an inordinate amount of messages and emails to tend do, thus making Monday even more stressful… but I think it might be worth it, anyways?)
3. Hit the week hard and then taper slowly. Currently, my Mondays are awful in terms of work load, and I don’t know how to fix it since I can’t nix any work, because we are really struggling as a family in a serious way (my partner hasn’t had a salaried job because of pandemic). The only solution I’m aiming for is to split my Monday up a little more so that both Monday and Tuesday feel daunting, and then try to make the following days more focused on homeschooling and less on back-intensive computer work. (All of this is subject to change once my dance company returns, but this is my Boundary Goal for now.)
4. Actually rest when I’m resting. Perhaps it’s motherhood, or the life of a freelancer (it’s constant peddling, that’s for sure), or just my personality, but sometimes when I’m having a more restful day… I simply shift to different projects. My goal is to actually “rest” two days of the week (weekend, for example) and truly do it. In theory. Someone convince me?
Now, YOUR TURN!
What are 4 Boundary Goals you could set for yourself? Let’s try them together!
January 22, 2021 at 7:37 am #16143Paul met DebbieParticipant
These are some good measures.
Less time on social media.
Spreading the activities more evenly over time, thus preventing overload.
Improving the quality of your resting and sleep.
Since I already follow my body and my mind is at peace, I don’t think about boundaries this way and therefore can’t think of an answer to your question. I can however offer some advice, based on what I remember from first taking up meditation some ages ago:
Being busy all the time is also an addiction of the body. The adrenaline/cortisol rush will not immediately stop, there is a momentum to it. The mind, picking that up, will react unwillingly to more rest and different habits at first. The body might react with some weird pains or cravings. Be aware of that. Just observe it, don’t follow its lead. If you are trying to rest and your mind or body starts unrest, you could do some lightly distracting things that set your mind at ease and give your bode something to do. Things without a goal to achieve. It will take some time to form a new habit, probably some weeks. Stick with it at least for that period of time and don’t beat up yourself when failing in the beginning – you will fail often! Just be patient and kind with your self and start over again, and again. It’s like learning to ride a bike.
And if there are external influences that make you fall back often, you will have to tackle those separately of course. So, for example, if there is an overload of social media input on monday morning, you will have to diminish the flow. Let your social contacts know for instance that they should not send stuff to you in the weekend. If they don’t comply, delete them. Let your family know not to disturb you when you are resting, unless the house is on fire. Little things like that 🙂
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