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  • Pandemic Perspective (or Grief-Guilt-Gratitude Syndrome)

    Posted by bailey-anne-vincent on November 16, 2020 at 10:11 am

    I was able to step foot in a dance studio again this weekend (as my Instagram will show) and it was completely surreal. We went when the studio was closed to reduce all risk and I started ugly-crying almost the second I got in the door. I couldn’t believe it.

    In some ways it feels like Grief: grief for all we’ve lost and can’t get back yet, or for those who aren’t alive to feel these things at all. But also Joy: utter gratitude to be in such sacred space again after almost 250 days away. But also Fear: Worry that the happiness will be ripped away again… or that I’m doing the wrong thing… or that “everything was for nothing” since spaces are still open right now even though numbers are higher than they were when we first shut down.

    Since the start of the pandemic, what are the Top 3 feelings you feel the most? How do they differ from how you used to feel, or how you hope to feel in the future?

    I figured today might be a good day to just “dump our feelings” out and feel heard. Join me?

    jenny-livingston replied 3 years, 5 months ago 3 Members · 3 Replies
  • 3 Replies
  • paul-met-debbie

    Member
    November 17, 2020 at 1:44 pm

    That is a good question. My overwhelming “feeling” is that of gratefulness of just being. It becomes stronger every day. Nothing I can do about that, it just happens. It is not a syndrome, or if it is, a very joyful one I would wish for everyone to have.

    There can be a myriad of feelings on top of that. You described some of them. In a way, they are all the same. They are not different in this time of covid than before. Perhaps they are slightly differently distributed. They are just as mundane as they always were. There is nothing wrong with them, but they increasingly “feel” relatively unreal and unimportant to me. Because the feeling of being becomes stronger and more real constantly, the layer on top becomes more insignificant. Not something worth remembering, comparing with yesterday or phantasizing about for the future.

  • jenny-livingston

    Member
    November 18, 2020 at 1:54 pm

    Like Paul, I’ve felt an overwhelming amount of gratefulness — for being alive, for my family, for the beautiful area in which we live, for the extra time I’ve been able to spend in my home with my pets and loved ones.

    But I’d be lying if I said it was all sunshine and roses. I’ve also felt an extreme amount of anxiety. More than I’ve ever experienced thus far in my life. I’ve also been pretty angry (which isn’t a good color on me and is something I hate to admit). As I’ve seen such division and hatred in our county over the handling of this virus as well as our political landscape, I’ve been angry at the way so many callously throw certain members of society to the wayside. The idea that people are expendable and certain lives don’t matter has been so upsetting to me.

    On the hardest days, I try to focus on the things I’m grateful for and I remind myself:

    Right now, we’re togehter.
    Right now, we’re safe.
    Right now, we are healthy.

  • jenny-livingston

    Member
    November 18, 2020 at 1:54 pm

    Like Paul, I’ve felt an overwhelming amount of gratefulness — for being alive, for my family, for the beautiful area in which we live, for the extra time I’ve been able to spend in my home with my pets and loved ones.

    But I’d be lying if I said it was all sunshine and roses. I’ve also felt an extreme amount of anxiety. More than I’ve ever experienced thus far in my life. I’ve also been pretty angry (which isn’t a good color on me and is something I hate to admit). As I’ve seen such division and hatred in our county over the handling of this virus as well as our political landscape, I’ve been angry at the way so many callously throw certain members of society to the wayside. The idea that people are expendable and certain lives don’t matter has been so upsetting to me.

    On the hardest days, I try to focus on the things I’m grateful for and I remind myself:

    Right now, we’re together.
    Right now, we’re safe.
    Right now, we are healthy.

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