• Parents, Memories, More

    Posted by bailey-anne-vincent on October 12, 2020 at 10:34 am

    What is one of the most important things your parents ever taught you?

    I’ve been thinking a lot about everything parents of CF patients do and endure, and how hard it can truly be. My parents didn’t have to knowingly “raise a child with CF” since I was a late diagnosis, but they do have to love one now, and continue to do so all the time.

    If I had to distill one of the best bits of knowledge my Dad taught me throughout the years, it’s more of an attitude than an actual phrase. He is definitely a “self made” type of guy, and – despite losing his Dad at a very early age and not having the typical degrees and accreditations he’d like- he’s one of the most successful, creative and intelligent people I’ve ever met.

    My Mom is full of phrases, on the other hand, and loves to say “It is what it is”, which (even when it drives me crazy) is often a way I look at things now. Pouting and pausing didn’t get me very far in our house, so I had to “suck it up and drive on” (another of her phrases).

    What about you? Or, if you ARE a parent of a kid with CF, do you find yourself repeating any classics from whomever raised you?

    jenny-livingston replied 3 years, 6 months ago 3 Members · 3 Replies
  • 3 Replies
  • jenny-livingston

    October 13, 2020 at 2:00 pm

    “It is what it is” has always been one of my least favorite phrases! It never means something good. It’s not as if a person wins the lottery and says, “it is what it is.” Yet, like you, I find myself using this phrase more and more as I get older. To me, it essentially means, “This is less than ideal, but we’ll get through.”

    And perhaps that also is one of the most important things my parents taught me (with their actions more than words): perseverance.

    My mother had an incredibly traumatic childhood, and she persevered. My parents had three children with CF, and they persevered. They lost a child, yet they picked up the pieces of their shattered hearts and persevered. They ultimately divorced, and still persevered (while maintaining a lovely, friendly relationship for the sake of us children). Any trial they’ve faced, any major bump in the road or detour they’ve had to take, they’ve persevered. Not only that, but they’ve continued to find tremendous happiness along the way. I say that my resilience is one of my favorite qualities. I’d be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge that my parents did so much to help instill this quality in me.

    For the sake of levity, I’ll add that my dad gave me several other little nuggets of wisdom like, “Don’t cook bacon in the nude” and “never squat with spurs on.” (I don’t think the man has ever worn a set of spurs.)

  • becky-fox

    October 13, 2020 at 11:01 pm

    Jenny, I love the admonition to not cook bacon in the nude, that’s golden, lol I might add, don’t fry chicken in the nude either. 🤣 My mom’s best piece of advice was, “Always be careful of what you say and how you conduct yourself. There will always be someone watching you”. My own advice to my family and friends anytime we are ending a visit or just saying goodbye is to “be careful”.

  • jenny-livingston

    October 14, 2020 at 1:06 pm

    Becky, we’re big believers in “be careful” and “stay safe” as part of a standard farewell. I was also taught to be very liberal with the phrase “I love you.” I think that it need to be said often and emphatically.

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