Cystic Fibrosis News Today Forums Forums Support Groups Adults​ ​With​ ​CF “Rose Bud Thorn”: How Was Your Weekend?

  • “Rose Bud Thorn”: How Was Your Weekend?

    Posted by bailey-anne-vincent on November 23, 2020 at 10:10 am

    My husband is a teacher (well, behavioral counselor) and he likes to ask his students what is there “rose, bud and thorn” that day. This means “What is the beautiful part of your day… the hopeful part of your day… and the difficult part of your day”… and I really love this concept.

    What was the Rose, Bud and Thorn of your weekend?

    What about your week ahead?

    I feel like my Thorn is overtaking my weekend and week, for sure, as I ended up re-injuring my back in some strange way earlier last week. I have since rested, iced, taken all the meds and done all the things, and still no major improvement. As soon as I move, I’m miserable.

    Considering how OVER THE MOON grateful I was to be improving since surgery (“I can take baths now! I can wash my hair bending backwards! I can sit in a car and not want to cry!”), this is a somatic slap in the face in a lot of ways. I was doing “everything right” and still somehow hurt a completely new part of my spine by simply stretching… ???

    Although we are awaiting what we should do (waiting for the phone calls, appointments and drawn-out systems of What Ifs, made worse by the approaching US holiday), I’m having a hard time seeing the Rose or Bud at all. I’m feeling broken, emotionally and in terms of pain and just… tired.

    It’s crazy how something that isn’t life threatening (like a potentially new slipped disc in a still-painful back) stresses me out this much. I feel selfish and silly when peers of ours are facing down lung transplants and more. Because it leaves me landlocked- on top of an already isolating pandemic- I struggle mentally in so many ways. Additionally, all my neb progress and cough-clearance routines feel tossed out the window (due to pain at sitting/heaving/etc), or at least less effective.

    So… well, that is my horrid complaint (apologies!), but before I go and gleefully see your Rose Bud Thorns (hopefully more chipper than mine), I have to say that my Rose is definitely having a lot more time at home this holiday season (I’ve normally been traveling and stressed with dance in years past) and my Bud is the hope that this hump won’t be an eight-month standstill like last time and will actually heal and resolve.

    I realize these are all very self involved Rose-Bud-Thorns… but humor me? Sometimes it’s nice to be open without caveat (for example, the real Rose is that my girls are safe and well), or without justifying our very-real-feelings away so fast.

    What about you? What is impacting YOU, personally, right now in life?

    jenny-livingston replied 3 years, 5 months ago 3 Members · 2 Replies
  • 2 Replies
  • paul-met-debbie

    Member
    November 23, 2020 at 12:56 pm

    That’s a nice expression, I didn’t know that. Rose, bud, thorn. This weekend.

    Well, the rose would be our little dog Buddha recovering from a nasty stomach flu. We had to visit the vet for this one and after three days of antibiotics and a shot to calm her intestines she seems to feel almost completely fine again (three more to go). Which also means our bud has produced, because friday night we strongly wished for a night of uninterrupted sleep without having to walk her in the middle of the night. And low and behold, she slept through the night without a problem – and so did we. That’s a treasure after a couple of broken nights.
    The days before when she had her obvious problems but we were not sure about going to the vet or giving it some more time to heal on itself (which also occurs in 50% of cases) were the thorny bit of the experience. We both rather feel sick our selves than have to worry and see her feeling bad and not improving.

    But alas, these things happen and it’s simply great to see her running in the meadows again, chasing an illusiory rabbit. Little things mean a lot.

    Wishing you well.

  • jenny-livingston

    Member
    November 23, 2020 at 1:48 pm

    Rose, Bud, Thorn. I love this!

    Rose: Being home with my loves. Randy, Morgan, the dogs. I truly find so much joy in this. Also, we harvested a Christmas tree from the nearby mountains. We don’t generally do this until Thanksgiving weekend, but this seems like the perfect year to decorate a bit early. We had a lovely time harvesting and decorating our tree together.

    Bud: Morgan and I are planning and prepping an entire Thanksgiving meal for our little family of 3. She is SO EXCITED about this. The smallest turkey I could find was 15lbs, so we’ll be eating leftovers for days and days! Choosing to fully celebrate despite the fact that we won’t be seeing family is a reminder of the happiness and contentment that can be found within our own home. It gives me hope that during this winter season, which can be a little dreary under the best of circumstances and will be spent mostly in isolation this year, will still be full of beauty.

    Thorn: The pandemic. The reckless disregard for human life. The fact that my hospital (and most others in my state, actually) is over capacity with no ICU beds left and cases are at 4,000+ each day. *sigh* This is totally out of my control and is perhaps something I shouldn’t worry about, but I do. I don’t know how to stop worrying about something so serious.

    I keep going back to those Rose Bud thoughts and focusing on the gratitude I feel for all the goodness in my life. But the thorn is never far from my mind.

Log in to reply.