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Saying “no” to family during the holidays
Generally, for my family, the holidays are a time of celebration and togetherness. Large family dinners and parties, traveling to visit loved ones, and all sorts of festive activities. This year, those things are risky – and it’s a risk I’m not willing to take. It’s been difficult to decline social invitations all year, and even more so now that I’m seeing so many other families proceed with their usual holiday gatherings despite COVID health guidelines.
There have been some hurt feelings and even a bit of resentment when I’ve explained (for what feels like the hundredth time) that my little family won’t be participating in holiday celebrations outside our home. I can completely understand the desire to forgo health guidelines for the sake of family connection. However, I keep reminding myself that saying “no” and choosing to stay home is a small price to pay if it’ll help ensure that we all make it to next Christmas.
Just a couple days ago, I once again had to explain to someone we were unable to attend a family Christmas party. I was expecting some pushback from this particular family member, but instead, I was met with unexpected compassion. “I understand,” he said. “I respect you for doing whatever you need to do to stay safe. This must be really hard.”
They were the exact words I needed to hear to remind me that it’s okay to say no; it’s okay to do whatever we feel is necessary to protect ourselves.
So, if you need to hear a similar message, let me be the one to say: It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to stick to your convictions even when others don’t understand. It’s okay to do whatever is necessary to protect your health. Don’t let the pressure from others make you do things you don’t want to do. We’ve got this. You’ve got this!
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3 Replies
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Thanks Jenny, Good advice. Can’t assume family members will understand but we must do what we have learnt to be best – we have already declined one Christmas Eve gathering as to attend may over-extend my wife’s ability to cope. Most of our family now understand.
It is certainly OK to say No. -
1.
Dear family, dear friend
We won’t come visit you
We hope you’ll understand
And yes – we’re sorry too.2.
You’re welcome in our bubble
If only that were safe
But there is too much trouble
And we are not that brave.3.
And coming Christmas Eve
Our hearts will hold you dear
There is no grudge or grief
We want you this to hear.Hohoho!
PaulPS (insert this only for very stubborn recipients after verse 2)
2a.
Or actually we are!
We boldly will decline
Your feathers and your tar
Don’t worry – we’ll be fine! -
@jpaul once again, this had me laughing. You have a very clever way with words.
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