Dating and relationships: When do you mention CF?
When I was young (and arguably, rather dumb) CF had little impact on my dating life. I was quite healthy, had never experienced major health issues, and could easily “hide” my disease if I wished. I dated a bit throughout high school and got married when I was very young (19 years old). He knew that I had CF, but at that time, even I was unaware of how much it could and would affect our lives.
About a decade later, I found myself divorced, going back to school, managing my health (which had become much more precarious and a full-time job in itself) and raising a child on my own. Entering the dating world seemed more daunting than exciting at the time. I could no longer hide the fact that I was battling CF, nor did I want to. I’d reached a point where I was completely comfortable discussing the many aspects of this disease. My ex-husband struggled to deal with the challenges we faced because of my health. I needed to know that a potential partner was aware of how much CF could impact our lives and that we’d be able to work through those trials together.
When I joined a dating app, more than once I was ghosted as soon as I mentioned CF. When I met my current partner, I was very upfront about having CF. In fact, I was fairly certain that I had overshared on our first date and that he’d never want to talk to me again. Instead, he took it upon himself to research and learn all that he could about CF. It wasn’t long before he asked if he could attend a clinic appointment with me. Four years later, we’re still together and he is my biggest supporter. It turns out, the right person for you won’t shy away because of something like CF! But I understand that it can still be scary to open up about it.
I know that some people choose not to disclose information about CF right away. Others want to share that information immediately. There are many valid reasons for either approach. When did/do you talk about CF in a new relationship? Has a relationship ever changed when you mention CF? Do you think there is a “right moment” to talk about CF with a potential partner?
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