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Help… I’m Scared of Change (and Humans)
I spent most of the week yammering on about COVID and vaccine worries, and I figured I’d round out the week with the same. I keep finding new hurdles and issues as we evolve through my first pandemic, and I’m not sure how to handle them.
My schedule has changed a LOT in the last couple of weeks. It went from most of my work being online – writing and digital ASL classes– to also adding in dance again. My teaching is still online right now because (in addition to wanting to role-model safe behavior as much as possible), I also can’t teach in person unless everyone has clear masks.)
I am surprised at how difficult the adjustment has been. For most of the pandemic, I was dancing/exercising in the morning and getting my work done early, so I could rest my body by late evening. Now it’s completely reversed and gone back to my old “dance teacher life” (which is always after school hours). Today, for example, I won’t be done until 10 PM, even though my body wants to quit everyday by 7 PM. And, somehow, it has been incredibly hard to adjust? Who even am I?
I know I can do it and I need to be patient with myself… but I feel frustrated with how much less adaptive I feel on the other side of this pandemic, and how much more fearful of change and new situations.
Does anyone else feel like the pandemic- or even long periods of sickness and being stuck “at home”- has made them more adverse to change?
Have you become more of an introvert than you used to be, or less keen on large social groups?
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6 Replies
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I couldn’t become less keen on large social groups – I am already as unkeen as I could be. And always have been. I don’t think that equals to introversion though. At home and in good (small) company I am very sociable and extrovert. So it depends more on the quality and quantity of the group. I prefer to have “real” contact and find this to be practically impossible in large groups (>4), especially if the agenda is set to “what’s up guys?”, then something in me refuses to take part and just switches off. I have no problem with that at all.
I think it is normal after a period of isolation to have some slow-start problems getting into the normal routines. And now with covid we have to adapt to different a society with different dynamics. This might even take more time. Be patient and trust yourself. The path will present itself to you in the process of walking on it, step by step if needed. Don’t try to look ahead too much. Adn trust your intuition.
PS perhaps you should set up an online dancing course for clients in Europe? The time difference would solve your problem.
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I don’t think I’ve become more of an introvert, but perhaps I’ve realized that I quite enjoy introversion. Early in the pandemic, my partner said something along the lines of, “This will be easy for you. You love being home, away from people anyway.” I didn’t think this assessment was true — I love being around people! But it turns out, he was right. Home is where I prefer to be. I love people, but in smaller groups where (as Paul said) we can truly connect. I’ve mentioned in previous posts that this pandemic hasn’t drastically changed my daily routine (with the exception of having my daughter home more which I love).
I understand the worries about change or “getting back to normal” though. While I’ve not been thrust back into work or social situations yet, imagining those things in the future gives me some anxiety. The unknowns and breaking out of my comfort zone (which, more than ever, is my home apparently 😆) are never things I look forward to. Especially now!
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Nobody likes change! Well almost nobody!
The unknown. A few are challenged by it but most fear it. Whether it be Columbus’ sailors who feared they would sail off the edge of the world as they sailed west. The astronauts may have had much preparation before setting foot on the moon but there was still huge risk. Or just a CF’er starting on Trikafta – the unknown is scary!
But without moving into the unknown we would still be swinging from trees in eastern Africa.Take courage and go forward!
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Oh, I am getting utterly nostalgic when you paint a picture like this, Tim.
Swinging from the east African trees… if only we would have stayed there.
What a paradise! -
Sorry to dillusion you Paul. The Turkana area in NW Kenya where Leakey found those famous bones from which we are postulated to be descended from is now an arid harsh inhospital environment where swinging from tree to tree is just not possible.
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Oh what a pity, Tim 😉. Well, let’s paint a slightly broader picture then: fortunately, if we go back in the time-line for just a half million years more, many of the Anthropoidea stayed in the beautiful forests and trees in Africa and Asia until today. And even Kenya still has some coastal forests left where they live, going inward, in harmony with nature. That is, as long as homo sapiens doesn’t go “forward” and destroys their environment too.
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