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  • On holidays and setting boundaries

    Posted by jenny-livingston on December 2, 2021 at 8:05 am

    As we celebrate the upcoming holidays, many of us will likely be spending time with family. Last year, due to COVID, my little family stayed at home and celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year in the comfort and safety of our own home. There were some extended family members who had a hard time with our decision to do this and were constantly pushing the boundaries we’d set. Now that we are all vaccinated and many people in our social circles are as well, we plan to do a little more for the holidays this year. However, there are definitely still things we’ll opt out of and activities I won’t feel comfortable doing. I know that (likely the same) family members will struggle with this again, so I am already practicing reinforcing those boundaries and setting expectations for the things I will or will not be participating in.

    Are you currently socializing more than you were at this time last year? Do you plan to spend time with family/friends this holiday season? Have you had to set certain boundaries, and if so, have the people in your life been respectful of them?

    Additionally, which holidays do you celebrate this time of year? I mentioned some that my family enjoys, but what about you?

    jenny-livingston replied 2 years, 6 months ago 3 Members · 6 Replies
  • 6 Replies
  • paul-met-debbie

    December 4, 2021 at 1:22 pm

    We celebrate Advent, decorating the christmas tree (talked about this in the Sunday Morning posts) and stay home. We are perfectly happy that way.

    Covid exploded in the Netherlands since september, when almost all restrictioms were lifted and our ignorant government (which is not really in function, because there were elections last spring after they had to resign on a kafkaesque tax scandal, and these same politicians have not yet succeeded in forming a new government) encouraged the folk to go dancing because all was declared safe (“we vaxed covid away”).

    Of course it was not safe at all because only 80% of adult population had been vaxed and none of the children. So, this explosion was to be expected by all but the power that be, who seemed to care more about their own short term popularity than about the life long health of the people. Now we are the black area in Europe covid wise and in our region about 1 in 38 people are infected currently. Hospitals are filled to the brim and normal care is almost stopped completely. Since one week the restaurants and bars have to close at 1700 hours, but that will not do the trick of course. I expect we have to go to full lock down soon again for the rest of the winter.

    The booster campaign has only started now, which is 3 months too late. It will take to March probably until every one will get his booster, but then again only 80% will want a vaccine. A comsiderable  minority is rather misbehaving and stubborn and difficult to educate, and a fairly large part is easily influenced by desinformation which spreads even more rapidly on social media than covid in a primary school. Even now there is no official policy about vaxing the children and all schools are still open, which leads to terrifying infection rates at primary schools. And omricron has entered the stage.

    So we have not changed our own private policy based on common sense, and will not engage in social life yet. It will be exactly like last year. We also know of many people like us who are careful not to participate in spreading the virus. We look forward to the winter, there is not enough time to do everything we love at home, writing, painting, cuddling, making music and love and enjoying our fantastic little dog and eachother’s wonderful company. Take care you all.

    Happy days!

    • paul-met-debbie

      December 5, 2021 at 5:40 am

      Typo: omikron is the name of the latest covid mutation.

      By the way I am not pro obligatory vaccination. I think this should be a fee choice always. But freedom ends where it limits the freedom of others. Covid limits the freedom of all of us to behave infectiously. So I think that all of us, vaxed or not, should do the utmost to not contract covid and not spread it. This is a social disease. And it requires a social and behavioural change in all of us.  We should act accordingly and change our infectious ways. This is difficult and will take time and courage. But we can do it. If we first find out who we really are, our priorities will change. For the meantime, a simple thing like wearing a good mask (N95 or better) will make a world of difference. Even more than vaccination or medication. And be careful in all other ways possible. Let’s not exclude anyone from society. But let’s all include the utmost hygiene. It is that simple.

  • tim-blowfield

    December 6, 2021 at 4:21 pm

    Freedom. It is always relative and as Paul said it ‘ends where it limits the freedom of others’. We live in a society and there are limits. In most societies you may not drive a car without a licence. It may be physical limits – you can’t stand on a spot where someone else is standing unless he/she moves. Laws may give rights but usually they restrict freedom. Our freedom is often impinged upon by our mental attitudes and health. We all have rights  but they must be balanced with obligations. Re COVID we have the right to be protected from it. We also have the obligation not to spread it to our neighbour. How we do both we have learnt much and our Governments have made laws to prevent the spread and protect us. I would prefer for the choice to be vaccinated to be that of the individual but societies may choose to make it mandatory for the overall society good.

  • jenny-livingston

    December 7, 2021 at 3:39 pm

    Paul and Tim, thanks for your thoughts!

    Here in the US, where rugged individualism and personal liberties are celebrated (to an extent that I don’t necessarily agree with), any and all mandates have been hotly contested. The simple request to wear a mask is controversial in many groups.

    We’ve chosen to do what we can — wearing masks, being vaccinated, and opting out of many activities — and we choose to socialize carefully with those who make similar choices. We have family and friends who, unfortunately, have not taken this pandemic as seriously and have collectively decided to carry on as if nothing is happening. As we’ve tried to reinforce our boundaries, we’ve been met with some pushback. Some have taken our wishes to protect ourselves and not contribute to the spread of this virus as a personal attack, as if we don’t want to spend time with our families. I sometimes worry that those relationships won’t be the same after all of this finally passes.

  • paul-met-debbie

    December 8, 2021 at 8:18 am

    This rhyme I wrote last year

    I’ll say it now again:

    We still hold y’all dear

    As closely as we can.

    With grace, so we will pray

    We all will touch next year

    Again just like today

    In presence, and sincere.



    • jenny-livingston

      December 8, 2021 at 8:22 am

      Paul, now that I’m reading that, I remember bits of it from last time. Yet I have no recollection of posting the original post (which is very similar to the one here) last year. Oops! Really and truly, with your permission, I may print that little poem and attach it to a holiday greeting card of sorts.

  • paul-met-debbie

    December 9, 2021 at 9:44 am

    Thanks Jenny, of course you may. I feel honored. ❤️🙏

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