Columns

Through the sliding glass doors and down the stairs of the medical plaza, the midday news played — muted, but with captions running — on the TV mounted across from the reception desk. The water fountain hummed. Where I live, case numbers from the COVID-19 pandemic remain high, and medical…

In 2016, my family spent weeks in the ICU with my brother, Bradley, who had cystic fibrosis and was dying from sepsis caused by an infection. I can’t fully describe what it’s like to have a family member in the ICU, but I need to try, because the…

Someone told me I had a “dancer’s body” the other day, and I pretended it was flattering. “Thank you,” I said, since I hate refuting compliments (and believe intent matters more than execution), but inside I felt conflicted. Gross. Sad. I felt conflicted-gross-sad because the term “dancer’s body” should mean…

Are you living or surviving? Most cystic fibrosis patients have dabbled with this question. To what extent does your health guide your life, rather than love or ambition? I knew the answer back in 2018, but after my bilateral lung transplant in June 2019, things grew complicated. Letting go…

I’m starting to doubt the reasons why I doubt myself. Let’s start this column in a weird place: constipation. If one of my best friends is constipated (I bet you didn’t think we’d drop BMs into your DMs that fast, did ya?), she might complain a little to me,…

I’ve witnessed the greatest acts of love at my sickest. Whenever I reflect on how love has shone through on my darkest days, my misty eyes reveal how much someone has touched my life forever. Sept. 30 is National Love People Day. It’s a timely reminder to love others;…

“What should I write my column about?” This is what I asked my Tiny Dancer the other day, while mass-prepping as many columns as possible before having surgery on my cervical spine. This is my third spine surgery in less than a year. You’ll likely be reading this…

My sister Mary was just in the hospital for the first time in nine months. Though she was an inpatient over the holidays last winter, as so many cystic fibrosis patients often are, we couldn’t visit her because of the pandemic, which made the experience even more difficult. Nine months…