Columns

Here’s What It Feels Like to Have Cystic Fibrosis

There’s a rattle in my chest when I inhale. I sweat and dig my nails into my palm. I feel it, microseconds of dread and fear as the rattling gives way to something like the plugging and unplugging of suction cups in my airways. That quickly escalates into a “cough…

As a CFer, Birthdays Remind Me that Life Is Fragile

I can remember the day I discovered the truth that I had already suspected in my heart: cystic fibrosis (CF) is a life-shortening disease. I’m just old enough that I couldn’t Google whatever I wanted to at the time. I learned this information from a calendar sitting in my CF…

I’m Thinking About the Future

Sometimes it seems as if everyone knows what they would do in your shoes, and they are happy to tell you so. “If I were you,” they might say, “I wouldn’t even bother with college. I’d just travel the world. College takes up too much…

We Must Pay Closer Attention to the Global CF Population

Based on the stringent qualifications the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation uses to determine who has cystic fibrosis, approximately 70,000 people currently have CF worldwide. That includes 30,000-35,000 in the United States. In this broad population, many subpopulations fit neatly into the CFF’s qualifications. Others do not. As much as we…

Can We Take a Minute to Rest?

Reader, I am tired. I don’t need to explain how that feels to those who have cystic fibrosis (CF), but for the benefit of others, I will. It’s a kind of tiredness that halves my normal walking pace. It leaves me reaching for words…

How I’ve Found Purpose Without Having a Full-time Job

Our society places great emphasis on success through careers. Whenever we meet a stranger, one of the first questions we ask is, “What do you do?” I feel this pressure despite my awareness that my illness makes it difficult even to predict what the next few months might bring. The…

My Personal Paradox Sets the Bar Higher and Higher

I have a productivity complex: I feel like if I’m not being productive, I’m wasting my time. And yet, whenever I accomplish something, I don’t bask in the enjoyment of accomplishing that thing. Instead, I’m worried about the next thing I need to accomplish. The to-do list of…