Life in the Grey
— Bailey Anne Vincent

I am never going to be well enough to work out. I realized this the other day and said, “I am never going to feel well enough to do this.” And then I wrote it as the first sentence of this column. I am back to working out, for the…

“I don’t feel well.” I used to say this all the time. I said it before my last round of IV antibiotics and sinus surgery at the beginning of the year. I said it before being sheltered in the same dang place, thus having much less exposure to the…

If I were a doctor, I would say hello and ask a couple questions about the individual first. That way, they would feel like they’re a person, I’m a person, and we are two people who can talk about health. I would not act like the doctor I spoke to…

“Is this what I’m going to do forever?” I asked my dad. We were waiting outside a lab that hadn’t received the necessary fax to draw my blood, even though we had called and confirmed with my doctor’s office hours before. I had emailed my primary doctor earlier in the…

To the doctors who didn’t listen to me: You were wrong. I remember the time I arrived in the ER six years ago, a place I mostly refuse to go, and you said, “Go home. You have vertigo.” You were a female, which I thought would work in my favor.

I am having trouble sleeping. Everywhere we look, it feels like the world is on fire (both figuratively and literally). And if it’s not in flames due to human negligence or greed, it’s certainly engulfed in political firefights. And the worst kind of political opinion is political opinion that isn’t…

If I die, will it make you better? This is the storyline that appears in almost every movie ever made about sickness. We know and love the tragic trope well, but how well we handle unwellness is most often captured by the Sick Savior Complex. No star-crossed sickness saga is…

One of the hardest things to deal with in life are the “unknown knowns.” This is what happens when you’ve had one too many surgeries, or just enough hospital tuneups, and you have a hard time letting go of what you can’t control. I am trying to prepare for a…

“I want to take my mask off.” I said these words to my daughters two days ago in a Barnes & Noble bookstore, even though I have pontificated novels to the contrary since this novel virus hit. In a world besieged by terms like “anti-masker” and “pro-mask,” I can’t help…

“Do you have an advance directive?” This is something most of us with CF have been asked before. For someone with a chronic illness, this question becomes as familiar as answering my name in one giant run-on sentence — “Bailey-Anne-Vincent-September-17th-1986” — and knowing what’s coming next. My name and…

“I’m worried about your health.” I have heard this more times than I can count. It’s normally a guise for criticism of how I’m eating, how I approached my pregnancies, or how I look. For a long time, I tried to appreciate the concern. That’s how we show love, right?…

Being a parent sucks sometimes. We talk about how we “don’t talk about this enough,” but then we sort of do through rose-colored glasses and funny and frustrated columns such as these. “How come you never write honestly about what it’s like to be a sick person raising kids?”…